Essay: Describe a crowded shopping mall during a sale.

[Sec 2 Model Essay]

It was a sweltering Saturday afternoon, just the perfect weather to seek refuge in the air-conditioned neighbourhood shopping mall just a stone's throw away from my home. As I entered the shopping mall, Jurong Point , the cold air swept across my face, leaving a refreshing sensation.

  The scene that greeted me was that the place was bustling with activities. Many parents were tagging their small children along with them and pushing strollers with young babies fallen asleep peacefully inside. There were also a few couples who strolled hand in hand lovingly, looking around casually for suitable clothes to try. The place was crammed like sardines and there was hardly any space to move. Sometimes the customers' skin even brushed against each other!

  I then proceeded to the second floor via the escalator after scanning the crowd briefly. Over at the second floor, it was relatively less crowded as it was the typical lunch hour, so the customers were enjoying their lunch in the restaurants. There was a famous supermarket named Cold Storage, Popular bookshop and Golden Village cinema just to name a few shops. Additionally, there was a variety of restaurants to choose from- ranging from local delicacies to popular Korean cuisine favoured by the youth, the customers were spoilt for choice for their dining selections. The appealing smell of food wafted out of the restaurants into my nose. To stop tempting myself any further from eating as I already had my lunch, I continued my exploration around the mall.

  Next, the banners around the mall stating that there was a Great Singapore Sale in Robinsons, the departmental store, led me to the third floor. As it was humongous, it occupied the whole of the level. The sale clearly explained why many middle-aged women were selecting their daily necessities they needed and men were trying on business apparel- as they could gain a discount of 50% off all the products bought only on that day. While the sales promoter was introducing a particular product, a few curious families gathered around to watch. The loud noisy chattering and discussions of the customers resonated around the department store and my ears to the extent that I wanted to leave the store badly. However, an adorable koala stuffed toy caught my eye in an instant. Seeing that I was interested, a friendly sales staff approached me and told me that it was the perfect time to purchase it, but the long, snake-like queue which only ended at the corner of the store dissuaded me from buying it.

  As I received a text message from my mother that I needed to head home soon, I exited the department store and left the shopping mall. I had a fun time observing the customers in the shopping mall and would definitely return again to visit because of the good service of the sales staff at the department store and what the mall has to offer.

Comments: Good job! Well presented observations. Clear, generally accurate language.

Score:24/30